Tuesday, December 8, 2009

My Holiday Anti-Wish List

In case your holiday shopping is not done yet, let me just take a second or two and narrow down the field of possibilities for you. This....I do not want.
I prefer my gifts to be delivered by Santa exclusively.

I'm guessing, but I bet Jewish women can think of many other ways to light their menorahs.

I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY ARE RUNNING THESE PSA'S SERIOUSLY! Who thought up this new slice of hellish gift giving? I totally thought it was a joke or the preview of a SNL skit when I first saw it, but no. Real.

I want gifts. I like things that are shiny and sparkle. But if it comes down to it, I'd rather have livestock, or a grove of miracle trees in some foreign land where they would be needed, than a Pap smear. Anything but the silver duck. *you may or may no want to click that link, depending upon your gender.

I'd much rather have you give me a couple of
goats that would serve to give milk and offspring, for generations to come, in rural villages. Or even maybe a freaking camel! I've always wanted a camel. If you're feeling feisty, I might even be down with a couple of donkey's. Donkeys and camels, totally cool...... pap-smears, not so much.

What is CBS trying to do with these PSA's? Make the holidays as awkward as humanly possible? In this case, you can't even say, "It's the thought that counts," cause QUIT THINKING ABOUT MY COOTER! Sick.


Sherpa said...

"Just a Schmear will save her life"

Sparklebot said...

I know, right? You let ME worry about my own lady-parts.

R. Siren said...

I just know this commercial will play repeatedly as I try to watch television with my dad and brother this holiday season. Thanks, CBS. Thanks.