Monday, November 29, 2010

Scratch That

I am heartbroken....

Unimportant Epiphanies

I don't know if this just underlines the fact that I tend to keep one eye on the dull and grey even while staring directly at the silver lining (because really, who actually likes surprises?)  but I had a bit of an epiphany this morning. 

Eventhough I am bored and single......and bored with being single. I am SO FREAKING GLAD that I am not in the midst of a break-up and/or heartbroken right now. I used to think that boredom was the worst feeling in the world. However, in light of my age and a bit of hard earned wisdom, I see how foolish that really was. Boredom isn't that bad.

Theoretically, you can get a lot done when you're bored.

My sock drawer is out of control organized right now. I'd almost go as far as to say it is the nearing the stuff of legends, really.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

As if my last post wasn't convincing enough...

So on the "The Mighty B is hilarious" front, he had to give a talk in primary this afternoon. He wrote his talk and I typed it up for him so he could read it easily. As is Mormon custom, he planned on ending his talk with bearing his testimony of the Gospel and the principles that he spoke about. The final line of his talk read something  like this, "As it says in the scriptures, when you serve others, you are serving God as well, because we are his children. I would like to bear my testimony that..."

All morning he would read and practice his talk and at the end rather than bear his testimony, as the ellipsis was intended to prompt him to do, he read it literally. "I like to bear my testimony, dot, dot, dot" Then giggle like a mad man.

We all tried to keep a straight face and tell him that doing that was NOT ACCEPTABLE in any way. We  moved onto the reverence and respect arguments...and eventually he promised he'd do it right.

So there we were in primary, listening to him give his talk. As he was winding up he got ready to bear his testimony, and said, "When you are in the service if your fellow men, you make God happy. And serving can even be fun some times. I'd like to bear my testimony that..." Then with a devilish, but adorable grin and giggle, he backed down the steps from the microphone and muttered just loudly enough that I could hear him in the back of the room, "dot, dot, dot. Amen"

Talk about a Turkey.

Friday, November 19, 2010

No Need to Argue About it. (With various updates)

We are leaving for the airport at o-dark thirty tomorrow to go see my sister and her family in Vancouver. Woo- Hoo!  I have been looking around for things to do while we are there, so this trip is more than just sitting around the house, eating too much, and napping more than your average newborn/octogenarian.

I found this  and decided it was the perfect activity for us to do as a family. Because really, Vancouver is gorgeous and I really enjoy being in places that actually have seasons beyond just hot, cold and windy.  So why not take advantage of the beautiful  scenery and get out and do something together? (And truth be told,  there is not a single member of our family that couldn't be benefited by a trot every now and then.

Yet another reason (and probably the most compelling reason) I wanted to get in on this activity, was because I thought it would be hilarious to listen to the Mighty B tell people that he ran in the Terkey Twot. (He speaks English fluently, but Scooby Doo is still his default language.....which I hope he never grows out of. It's adorable)

Anyhow, I talked to him a minute ago and asked him what he was most excited about this weekend. Without skipping a beat he shouted, "Grandpa is coming and we are going to Seaside to get salt water taffy!"  Yeah- that's right. On the list of things he is excited about my mother and I are overshadowed not just by grandpa (which I can deal with) but also by salt water taffy. Whatever......little brat.

Once that little slap of reality ceased to sting, I said, "What do you mean? You're not even excited about the Turkey Trot?"

He said, "Umm I don know what dat iz." Apparently my sister hadn't passed the word along, or he had just forgotten.  

I told him, "The Turkey Trot is a race that we are going to do as a family. We are going to run along the Salmon River," one of their summer fave swimming spots.

With concern in his voice he said, "I don't think I can run that far."

I let him know that we could walk if we wanted, we could run if we wanted....or we could flap our wings and pretent to be turkeys making a break for it in an effort NOT to be caught and made into Thanksgiving dinner if we wanted!"

Then (the best part) he said with complete and utter sincerity in his voice, "Oh no. I'm not walkin'. I'm not losing to no turkey!"
The Mighty B searching for inner peace with a combination of yoga and temple visits.

Man- that kid kills me. I'll let you know how we turkeys fare. It should be hilarious, no doubt.

P.S. The irony in this is that he is the kid that for the better part of his childhood would say, "No I don't want to go for a walk. How about a carry? You can walk, but carry me"

Addendum: Apparently it needs to be stated that just because I think my nieces and nephews are the cutest, that does not mean I think your nieces and nephews/children are ugly. So y'all can go ahead and stop emailing me about how wrong and rude I am being. Look up the literary term 'hyperbole' There is more than enough cuteness to go around. Honest. Even if my family is taking up most of it ;) And the fact that you even feel the need to argue about this....adorable and light hearted topic makes me sad for you.

Addendum the sequel: Screw that Turkey Trot of Death! It was like 21 degrees outside and has been snowing. Kings a) are not that committed to running/trotting/skipping in any form. Really anything that requires even the least bit of hustle, we don't enjoy these things. b) Kings don't really get down on Mother Nature.and c) Screw that shiz at the buttcrack of dawn. I don't black Friday shop and I don't do things that would have most CERTAINLY gotten the Pioneers killed had they tried something so foolisly planned. It just seems like disrespect to their legacy. I stayed in bed that day, just as God, Mother Nature, and the Pioneers would have wanted me too. I'm nothing if not mindful of honoring history.

But Happy Thanksgiving week anyway. Today- I am thankful for the chance to see my sisters family who I don't get to see nearly often as I would like!

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Oh you Tangled Web, You.

So there is this blog that I read sometimes, not because I agree witth the things he says. Actually, most often I don't.  But he is usually pretty super interesting and his humor is dry and biting,  I can't help but be amused, even when I don't agree with him.   I stumbled on his main blog because he also is the author of  The Dog Blog that I enjoy to-no-end.

Anyhow- I'm not going to post his blog can go to his blog and read it for yourself.  He apparently has the belief that Democracy does't, and won't ever work (long term)....because we 'The People' are given too much power to vote on things that we have zero expertise in and even less knowledge about.  Funny thing, it kind of makes sense to me....and that scares me more than just a little. s.

But ether way, all politics aside, The Dog Blog is freaking hilarious.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

One last blurb, then bed.....

So is anyone still watching survivor? Well- I am. And I am going to say honestly, without reservation that this girl (and her attitude) is EVERYTHING that is wrong with us as a people.
"Dis just who I am. It's who I been. Who I'm gunna be. You don't like it.....F*ck it, and them."

I miss the time when "Who we are" was something that was dynamic. That was (and should) be changed, improved upon and modified as we grew and matured. After this week at work, and this? I am slowing losing faith in us as humans.

Again, I ask....Who raised these people? Certainly not even wolves...even they teach respect and appropriate behavior/communicaition.  Hmmmmm maybe we should join ourselves with a pack of quad-rapeds and start taking some serious notes. Maybe work together on a task force of some sort.

I believe you know what this means....

And to think...I just found my running shoes in the bottom of the latest box that I unpacked. I'll start working out now...right after I finish straightening all of those deck chairs on the Titanic.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

A Dangerously Hilarious Liaison

I'm not Rachel Greene. I am not even going to try and pretend that I would choose Dangerous Liaisons over Weekend at Bernie's. And this video is just one of the many reasons why. The fact that Bernie has prompted this has just cemented my love of all things related to stupid and 80's movies. I've watched this more times than I care to admit and I grin like an idiot each time. However, I'm not sure what these people are talking about with this while 'new dance craze' stuff. We've been doing this since college in the late 90's. We called it 'The Man with One Jell-o Leg.'

And for the record....we did it WAY better than the one white kid (who appears to be in the late stages of rigamortis) they found to do it. Hilarious!