Monday, March 29, 2010
Sunday, March 28, 2010
- Spring Cleaning in my bedroom and the extra room.
- Toss out old clothes
- Sort out clothes viable to be donated
- Take the Dog out for a jog (experimenting on my newly healed knee)
- Or at least get exercise in SOME fashion that does not include merely playing with an adorable gigantic newborn.
- Tie up all the loose ends from CSUN
- Get my fat arse off the couch before 11 am at least 2 days in a row.
- Wash Car, get oil changed, check out the transmission slipage that has recently raised its ugly head.
- Get my ticket taken care of.
- Marry the prince and live happily ever after.
- Got up before 10 am exactly twice.
- During one of those two early mornings, I had the opportunity to attend a friends Relief Society Birthday party where Sister C spoke. What an amazng woman she is. I love her! She always speaks Directly. To. Me. I went kicking and screaming. I left humbled and inspired to do more, fight harder to be happy, and to accept that there will sometimes be hardship.
- Did not a single stitch of laundry.
- For some reason felt inclined to log onto ldslinkup again for some reason.....and spent a shameful amount of time wandering around there.
- Spend time in very hard and intensive retail therapy.
- Sat in my robe until about 2pm on more occasions than I care to admit.
- Didn't even THINK about getting gas in my car, washed, or checked out for transmission issues.
- Bleached my teeth to near fluorescence.
Each of us will have our own Fridays—those days when the universe itself seems shattered and the shards of our world lie littered about us in pieces. We all will experience those broken times when it seems we can never be put together again. We will all have our Fridays.
But I testify to you in the name of the One
who conquered death—Sunday will come. In the darkness of our sorrow, Sunday will come.
No matter our desperation, no matter our grief, Sunday will come. In this life or the next, Sunday will come.Elder Joseph B. WirthlinOctober 2006
Saturday, March 27, 2010
"I don't have the blues. The blues are because you're getting fat and maybe it's been raining too long, you're just sad that's all. The mean reds are horrible. Suddenly you're afraid and you don't know what you're afraid of. Do you ever get that feeling?" ?"
"Well, when I get it the only thing that does any good is to jump in a cab and go to Tiffany's. Calms me down right away. The quietness and the proud look of it; nothing very bad could happen to you there. If I could find a real-life place that'd make me feel like Tiffany's, then - then I'd buy some furniture and give the cat a name!"
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Monday, March 22, 2010
A little love bug that can be best comforted by his papa! (Anyone else wig out at the thought of Jonathon, the Golden Boy, raising another human life.) He has fallen into his new responsibility quite seemlessly. Granted, he has the hardest road to hoe, balancing his family and their nutty wants and desires.
And really at some point in this life he will ask about the choice if this little beenie, and with clean hands I will be able to tell him that I had nothing to do with it......but I do find it kind of baby adorable. What a traitor I am, I know.
Rise and shout, this cougar is out (of his mama's body, that is). He is only 3 months, almost weighs 20lbs and he is sosoooo big and squishy, and adorable. He is ticklish. especially if you rub noses with him. Giggles every time, with his big gummy, no tooth baby mouth. Have I mentioned how much I love gummy, no toothed, baby mouths? Incase I haven't....know that I am one bad decision away from snatching a baby of my very own. (Until we start dealing with dirty diapers...then I realize the folly of my baby snatching plans)
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Thursday, March 11, 2010
I like to think that I am a pretty helpful gal. So, when I heard that a certain publicity tormented golfer hired Ari Fleischer to help navigate his return to the game, I saw it as my personal call to serve. Since I don't have Eldrick's address I am just going to throw this out as an open letter to him.
Dear Mr Woods,
I know you are busy putting out fires these days, so I will make this quick. You don't need a big whig consultant to help you re-enter the public eye. I have a fool proof plan to help you ease back into the game that made you larger than life, richer than God, and more arrogant than...well, anyone. Ever.
Do your job. Hit the fairway. Sink your puts. Go home. Have sex with NO ONE but your wife. Lather, rinse, repeat.
As I am sure you've heard before, this one is free. The next one you will have to pay for.
Monday, March 8, 2010
Friday, March 5, 2010
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Enter-my most intriguing worst nightmare.
This is the stuff that great rumors and urban legends are made of! Midget Village in Salt Lake, anyone? Are you kidding me?
My roommates and I drove around for hours.
We never found it.
I've decided that my fear is rooted in not knowing what to do. Where do I put my eyes? I'm so torn. Which is less polite, to stare or to look away and avoid eye contact completely? Someone find me an overly polite Canadian. Certainly they will know what to do.
Know this- I am calling my college roommates and looking into flights to China. Midgetopia will evade me no longer. I'm off to see the Wizard.
Monday, March 1, 2010
I enjoy being honest. In person, I don't hide my feelings well. Normally, my face reveals much, if not all, of what I am thinking. I don't just wear my heart on my sleeve. I blow it up, tie it to a string and march around carrying it like a balloon. But here on the internet, I tend to shy away from actual matters of the heart...and gravitate more toward things that are ridiculous and/or amusing to me in some way. Because really- who wants to read all of that touchy feely crap anyway? I think blogs, by definition are meant to communicate information via sarcasm and whit...with an occasional ridiculous video.
That being said, there have been some things bouncing around my head lately that I have not been able to shake. I can't shake these thoughts because much, but certainly not all, of the drama 'round here, has been my doing. Don't you hate when you step back and see that you are making trouble, but can't stop if from proceeding? Ah well, if anything good has come from this, I have at least come to recognize where my super-sensitivity and overreactions come from. I'm Mormon, single, over 30, but smoking hot and hilarious, and the only one of my siblings who has yet to wed and reproduce. I am the veritable, Last Unicorn. If you are at all familiar with Mormon culture(not necessarily the same as Mormon doctrine) you can imagine the feelings of failure, doubt, loneliness, embarrassment, confusion, etc. that come along with my lot in life.
Being that all of my siblings have had children of there own, most of them live nearby, or visit quite frequently, issues of auntie/child interaction come up periodically. "Don't give that to the baby," "I'd rather you not_______," "No they can't stay with you for the summer." While most times, their parents have had reasonable requests, sometimes they have seemed mildly ridiculous to me, but whatever, they're not my children. I'm not the boss. I need to allow my siblings to raise their children as they choose. Even if I think it will be funny to see how the baby would like a ride on the dogs back.
Earlier today, I had a mild mini-revelation as to why I get so upset by my family questioning how well I am able to care for their children. My patriarchal blessing talks about being a mother and a grandmother to a multitude of children. However...as can be gleaned from the aforementioned description of my relationship status...that blessing doesn't appear to be coming to fruition any time soon. The next step my mind takes is to ask the question, why? Knowing full well that the last time I kissed anything, it was a long, hard, wet, goodbye kiss to that good for nothing frienemy, Logic. The only thing I can come up with is that I must have screwed up somewhere along the way. As a result, Heavenly Father must have lost faith in my ability to care and raise happy and healthy family of my own. Thus....I am doomed to wander the planet alone. Like the Incredible Hulk, but more pudgy and white than musclebound and green. Point being...when my siblings hover and question how I treat their children, it reaffirms the fear (illogical though it may be) that Heavenly Father, and apparently my family has lost faith in me as well.