Cheerio Gubner!

Today has been an ugly day. Literally. Rain, snow, sleet, but no hail. Needless to say, I didn't want to leave my dog out to fend for himself amongst the wild, unruly forces of winter. I mean really. Have you watched the news? Southern California is moments from being washed into the deep blue sea. Seriously. Batten down the hatches. Duck and cover. Run for your lives. It's every man for himself around here!

Lest you think I am the crazy lady who is unaware that my dog is in fact an animal, regularly licks his own junk and is completely capable of surviving outdoors, I'm not. Well- not usually. I really just didn't feel like dealing with a wet dog after work. He's got long hair, shaddup!

Anyhow- Freddy spends most days bouncing between the backyard and the garage, so I rarely have that sinking feeling that most indoor pet owners feel when they realize that mischief and mayhem have taken place in their absence. I got a hearty helping today. Immediately after walking in the door, I came across some very suspicious activity.

It was hard to tell what was touched, because clearly everything was touched.

I guess he felt like the toys at the bottom of the basket had been neglected for far too long and made it his personal mission to right that unspeakable wrong.

At least his heart was in the right place. That's a book on temples. It started out on the coffee table on the other side of the room.

Shortly there after I scanned to the other side of the room, made three very significant realizations and am greatly flummoxed at the personal/public ramifications of these things.

A) My dog is a closet eater.

B) While he is 23lbs and is less than two feet tall, he has an amazing capability to scale bar stools that are pushed in and counter surf when left without proper adult supervision.

C) Even though he is a distinctly German breed, he enjoys (dozens of) English baked goods.
So naturally, I am left wondering a few things...

Is that look of shame when caught eating somehow able to be passed between human and pet?

Does he know I skipped out on ward temple night?

In spite of his clear lineage, would Frederic von Schnauzer M.D.* have a German accent or British?

*M.D. (mad dog)