Thursday, March 11, 2010

A Helping Hand


I like to think that I am a pretty helpful gal. So, when I heard that a certain publicity tormented golfer hired Ari Fleischer to help navigate his return to the game, I saw it as my personal call to serve. Since I don't have Eldrick's address I am just going to throw this out as an open letter to him.

Dear Mr Woods,

I know you are busy putting out fires these days, so I will make this quick. You don't need a big whig consultant to help you re-enter the public eye. I have a fool proof plan to help you ease back into the game that made you larger than life, richer than God, and more arrogant than...well, anyone. Ever.

Do your job. Hit the fairway. Sink your puts. Go home. Have sex with NO ONE but your wife. Lather, rinse, repeat.

As I am sure you've heard before, this one is free. The next one you will have to pay for.

You're Welcome,
Jillian

4 comments:

mintifresh said...

You're a genius! Why didn't he think of that one before? It's so simple, it just might work!

Thanks for making me laugh so much lately! :D

J&J Priest said...

lol. i love you! hahaha

Sparklebot said...

You can't just GIVE away advice like that. Come on. You're ruining it for the rest of us.

Royalbird said...

What a concept!