Sunday, January 27, 2008

My Grandpa's Done Hard Time

Well he really hasn't, but he was on probation for the majority of my formative years. The reason I bring it up is so that you will have a better understanding of the family that I grew up in. At one point my grandpa may have fashioned a blow torch out of a bbq gas tank and started a fire that burned a good portion of the field around our houses.

Once he heard the fire truck coming, he gave the blow torch to my cousins and me so that we could hide it down the street at my house. The authorities were none too pleased with grandpa's method for weed removal.

I have compiled a short list of things that I have learned growing up a King.

1)You never have to out run a bear, you just have to out run one person.
2)Pleading ignorance is nearly as good as being innocent. (see example above)
3)If ever you find yourself scuba diving with sharks nick your buddy and swim like hell.
4a)There is such a thing as a stupid question
4b)It is my responsibility to point it out
5)Never bring up who your father is at a football game (because your dad, the coach, is likely cursing at the child of the person sitting next to you)
6)The fine art of the sucker punch
7)Card/Board games were meant for cheating

So anytime there is a torrential downpour, I sit back and wait for the comedy. I live in Southern California where weather has a tendency to cripple. School gets cancelled, meetings rescheduled, etc. Basically, life comes to a screeching halt. Flooding, power outages, panic and mayhem in the streets.

I ran out to get lunch on Friday and on my way back to school I spotted two of my favorite students walking down the sidewalk. I am always amazed that people are not more aware of their surroundings as they walk. Especially in the rain.(Perhaps my constant vigilance is a familial trait as well. It's really hard to tell. Seems akin to the chicken-egg quandary) They were just happily ditching school....without a care in the world. Just as I was busy thinking that these boys were royal pains and making a mental note to get them in trouble, a big old truck drove past them, hit the puddle that lined the street, and absolutely doused them with a wall of water. It was probably the high point of my week. I'm a bad person for it, I understand that, but I laughed for the rest of the day. I'm a King, we live for this sort of thing, it's who we are.


Rachael said...

I say this every time I read your post but, you are hilarious!
Those are some great life lessons you have learned from your pappy!

Maursupial said...

I must applaud and cheer the ditching kids get doused by a puddle story. The only thing that would have been better would be if they had been hit by puddles from three or four consecutive passing vehicles and one had been yours.

(oh, and my Grandma was on a first name basis with the fire fighters in our town for her "creative weed killing" techniques as well. We really are twins.)

Jillian said...

I too wished to be one of the cars that got them, but traffic laws being what they are kind of made that difficult. only one car got them, but it was about 4 degrees, if that helps at all.