Classroom Management...King Style

I have found a new and brilliant way to keep my students (eleventh graders) from sleeping in class. I'll let you guess what this new tactic might be.....

Granted, I have absolutely NO intention of actually following through on this threat and touching any of them.....with a spitty finger or otherwise. However, I have already shown them that I am just crazy enough that I might actually do it. And that, my dear friends, is all the motivation they need.

For now.

I'm just worried about the day I actually have to follow through.  But no worries, I've got wipes and sanitizer ready.

T.I.A.

This is Africa.

After the first week working in Africa, which included a veritable baptism by cement (I still can't bring myself to write about cement day, yet), the team headed off on safari and a much needed respite from our labors. Only this break didn't include swanky hotel rooms and room service. It involved tents and driving around the dusty, bumpy savannah, in search of the ever illusive rhino. Okay- so the tent wasn't that bad...



Honestly, I would put my name on the rolls of the hard-core campers if this was the way tent camping normally went. However, this was definitely not like any tent I had ever seen before. And while we never did catch a glimpse of a rhino, we did see all sorts of wild things.


It is quite an experience to see so many animals, so close, and so free. It's what we all imagine when we think of Africa. Scar and Mufasa's eternal and fatal struggle for power over the Pridelands. But it also made me think about whether or not this is really a full and complete picture of Africa. As Brittany and I walked to our 'tent' we commented on how the sky just seemed so much.....more.... than the sky that we see from home. The sunsets are the sort that you normally only see in your dreams. The horizons go on forever. And even the graphic, in your face reminder of exactly how the food chain works is awe inspiring. But if this was our first and only encounter with Africa, we would have gotten just a fraction of what this land holds. Cheated of the most precious and valuable thing that Africa has to offer. Her people.

Even though he may not get sweets often, one little boy unwrapped his candy, took a lick, and passed it along to his friend so that they both could have a treat. Isaac, knew that he could help the children in the slums of Soweto, by giving them a safe place to go to school. Another young man sat on the rooftop of his crudely made home to work on his studies. He had to use the last precious moments of daylight before he had nothing left but the darkness. And then there was the man who happened by a group of overwhelmed wazungu, all of which are nearly enveloped in concrete, and jumped in to help...just because it looked like we needed it.

It's the people that make Africa amazing. They are kind, hard working, thoughtful and self-less. But perhaps my favorite thing about the people is their curiosity and their loving nature. Whether it was the kids sneaking up next to you and softly pinching the skin on your arms, just to check if you feel the same way they do, or the chorus of, "How are you?" as they ran alongside the vans...their smiles and eyes are forever burned into my heart. As cool as the safari and the animals are, they are not what makes Africa great. Not by a long shot.

My Point is This

Months ago....literally MONTHS ago, my students were taking a test. It was multiple choice, on a scantron, so they needed pencils. Halfway through the test my sharpener crapped out. Considering the fact that during test time, even the most mediocre students require a pencil sharp enough to rival the scalpel of a world class surgeon, this situation had to be remedied, STAT.

I sent my TA, a modern version of Jessie Spano, over to a friends classroom to see if we could borrow her sharpener. The problem was that the teacher I sent my TA over to didn't have class that period. So-she did what any reasonable kid would do and went to the next closest classroom that had a teacher she knew.

The problem with that is, she didn't take into account the wack-a-doodle nature of the other teacher. First off, her classroom is locked up tighter than Fort Knox, lest anyone surprise her playing solitaire on the computer. Secondly, I would only expect her level of disdain for children from someone much more weathered and long in the tooth than she. Thirdly, well there is no three...she is just bizarre and hates kids, but who makes a list of just two things?

Jessie came back a few minutes later and made no mention of her changing the game plan due to the fact that the original teacher was not available. We sharpened our pencils, to the point that they could double as Japanese samurai swords, and promptly sent the sharpener back to it's original owner. Maybe 10 minutes total.

Anyhooter, last week Jessie Spano came into my room, frantic and waving a piece of paper like a wild banshee. As it turns out Ms. Wack-a-doodle wrote her up for "stealing a pencil sharpener that is for classroom student use." I kid you not, the referral read, "Jessie Spano came into my room and asked to sharpen her pencil. I turned to answer a question and as I looked back at Ms Spano, she shoved my sharpener into her bag and ran out the door. I sent one of my students to find her, but she was gone."

Seriously? Jessie Spano, little miss 4.2, never missed a day of school in her life, and has more than three college acceptance letters in that very bag of stolen pencil sharpeners? She 'stuffed it in her bag and ran?'

I am sure there was probably a number of mature options that I could have taken in order to deal with this situation in a grown up and mature manner. But really, where would the fun in that be? Instead, after a few emails regarding the ridiculous nature of her referral and accusations of thievery, I conceded that I did borrow her sharpener. If it didn't get back to her, even though I am certain it did, I would more than happily replace it.

With that, Operation Power Point was in full swing. A few of my more giving and thoughtful coworkers began to send over sharpeners. Every day. Every period. For the next two weeks. Pink ones, decorative ones, broken ones, battery powered ones, plug in's, manual ones, hand held ones, more broken ones, crayon sharpeners, full ones, empty ones, pencil shavings, etc. She must have at least 35 sharpeners.

And with that...my work was done. She has a plethora of pointed pencils, my type A, overachieving, wildly honest TA didn't get suspended and my passive aggressive muscles have been sufficiently exercised.

Seriously, back up off my TA. It's not like she could sneak in, being that the mayor of Crazytown keeps that place locked up 24/7. The teacher had to let her in. Stuffed it in her bag and ran? That is laughable. It's not our fault that one of her own kids probably broke the sharpener and threw itaway rather than face the wrath of Sra. Wack-a-doodle.

I think this is the feeling people must be talking about when they refer to pride in a job well done. Perhaps this is the very best of me that I was referring to in my last post.