Monday, August 23, 2010

Saturday: The Day of Weird.

I had exactly two conversations this Saturday with people that I am not related to. They went a little something like this.....

Number one was at Del Taco.  

Me: Hi, can I just get a large Diet Coke, please. 
Del Taco chick: Sure, you're total is $2.07. 
-I hand her a $20 dollar bill 

Del Taco chick: Do you need your change? 

-I make a confused face....trying to make sense of what she just asked me. I assume that she meant, "I'll get your change," or something along those lines.  But she just stared at me waiting for a response. 

Del Taco chick: So, do you need your change? 

Me: Ummmmm yeah-I'm gunna need my change. 
Number two was at the dog park.

I had a BYU t-shirt on and was pretty much just sitting on the park bench minding my own business. A man who was EASILY the same age as my dad sat down next to me and started making small talk. He was nice enough...and heaven knows I'm a conversational wizard when it comes to thoughtless yapping. We covered college rivalries, the US getting dealt with at the World Cup, and grounding your club in the bunker. Idle chit chat, not particularly flirty, just friendly, dog park chit-chat...or so I thought. So, dude gets up to leave and we exchange pleasantries. "Nice to meet you. Have a good weekend. Yadda-yadda-yadda" Then he shook my hand, took three steps toward the gate, turned around and gave me the Shooter McGavin finger gun and said,
"By the way, I'm single."

I realize that more often than not, I exaggerate stories for the sake of effect, but this is not one of those times. It does, however, raise a few questions in my mind.

A) Do people honestly use the finger gun in normal conversations and I've just missed it? I mean, I'm all for the ironic/exaggerated use of the Shooter occasionally. But really? Seriously? Huh.

B) Do I honestly look old enough to be in that dating range? If so....someone get me a good plastic surgeons number, STAT.

C) Was I supposed to run after him, spilling over with glee and shouting, "Ohhh Ohhhhh Ohhhhh me too! Let's do this!" (and by 'this,' I mean 'it') I totally dropped the ball if that was supposed to be my response. Instead, I half-heartedly returned the Shooter and stammered out a confused, "Ahhhh okay. Got it"

It wasn't even noon yet, but that was about when I decided I had met my quota for social interaction for the day. I'm done with weird.


Michelle said...

What a creepy old man!!!

William said...

maybe Del Taco chick needed some extra change. i know you got the whole "new house" thing going on, but help out the less fortunate :)

Did you actually find out the age of the man? Shooter McGavin is so hot right now ( Oh, wait, that's Derek Zoolander)

Tera said...

I've decided I'd really love to be a fly on the wall of your life! You have the best stories.

And I bet the taco chick makes a lot of extra money, supplementing her minimum wage income, by taking peoples change. Actually, I'm thinking you should start doing this with all your students too...could work!

Sparklebot said...

He's single?


Jillian said...

So many creepy and bizarre things...I was just hoping I wasn't the only one who thought it strange.

Tera: With the schenanigans my district is pulling with budget crap, I very well may start shaking down my students for spare change. I'll keep you posted on that.

Scott: I didn't find out his actual age, but his YOUNGEST daughter (meaning that there is at least one older as well) is graduating from college this semester. I'd like to tell myself that anyone whose youngest children are in their early 20's is too old for me. But I ain't gettin' any younger. Maybe I should start being a little more open minded.....or the future may be long and lonely. I just haven't quite wrapped my mind around that yet :)

mintifresh said...

Omigosh! That is awesome! You're right, it is just enough to help you decide to stay home for the rest of the day! hahahaha

Jennifer said...

You always have had a way with the crazies!!!

William said...

embrace open-mindedness, with boundaries, of course.

P.S. i miss my fellow rebar tying, cement mixing, coitus picture taking friend very, very much.