Goodnight Moon!

As many of you may well know, I don't sleep. Ever. Prescription medications to remedy this problem are a pretty common occurrence in my life. I don't like it...but I also don't like the sunny side of 3am. I am a self admitted pill popper. Trouble is, they don't really work anymore. So I have been reading up on ye ol' interwebs and trying to come up with a Plan B. You know, just in case Plan Ambien ceases to work completely.

There is an article on MSN today titled, "Finding Dreamland." Sounds promising, no?

No.

This is the first brilliant idea they tossed out,

Turn off your mind
Keep yourself from rehashing a stressful day of worries by focusing your thoughts on something peaceful and non-threatening, says Michael Stevenson, Ph.D., a psychologist and clinical director of the North Valley Sleep Disorders Center in Mission Hills, California. Play some soft, soothing music as you drift off or some environmental noise, such as the sound of a waterfall, waves crashing on a beach, or the sound of rain in a jungle. The only rule: Be sure it's not intrusive or distracting.

OHHHH! I should turn off my mind?! That's great info, thank you. Never occurred to me before. I am about as satisfied with that tidbit as I was when I left the sleep clinic and they said, "Yeah-you never really slept all night. Hmmmmm"

Hmmmm indeed.


(And on an unrelated note, why is 'goodnight' one word but 'good day' and 'good morning' are two?)

The Daily Debate

I am a high school teacher. As such, I find myself caught in many-a-mind bending conversation. The debate for the day?

Do dog's have butt-cracks?

I offered up a resounding NO. And to prove it, I tossed out the following evidence,
along with the reasoning that you can have a hole but not a crack.

I am amazed to report that I am still in the minority. They are so wrong...but so convinced that they aren't. Unreal.

On this day, I am proud to be a teacher.

Queen of Indecision

I don't do change well. I don't like it. I don't thrive on it. I don't thirst and hunger for the excitement of it. I may go as far as to say that I hate it. I'm sure a therapist could get to the bottom of my issues, but I think that a fear of failure (or screwing up) is at the root of it. Perhaps, it is just an issue of dealing with the devil's you know.

As a result, I find myself trapped in a world of indecision. Too many options to screw the pooch and I don't want to be the one to blame when the proverbial crap hits the fan. What if this happens? What if that does? What if I choose wrong and am doomed to a life of misery and misfortune? So...I stay where I am. Not terribly happy but not terribly sad. Just beige.

Indecision...I am your Queen. Feel free to bow and courtesy before me.

I deserve a tiara.

Bottoms Up!

If this isn't reason enough to start drinking, I don't know what is.

Karma's a Cruel Mistress

Let us rewind to a conversation that I had with my friend Naomi shortly before we left for Puerto Rico.

"Do you think I should bring my computer with me? I might get some work done if we have some downtime," Naomi said.

"I don't know. I don't think I would. What if it gets stolen, or broken? I don't think that's a good idea."

She brought it...it got infested with ants and then was baptized by the stupidity of our neighbors. She freaked out that all of her doctoral work was lost. I went back to bed. (In my defense, I was very tired....and maybe in an Ambien haze.) I waited a few days and then reminded her, "Like I said....I wouldn't bring my computer on vacation."

Jump ahead a few weeks. My portfolio for my master's degree is due on Thursday. Two years worth of papers, data, charts and graphs should all be tied up nicely with a pretty little bow. But what do I have?

A virus. Oh- and a bunch of files that say, "Data corrupted. Cannot open," or some such nonsense.

Karma is cruel, indeed.