Please, don't annoy the crazy person

Nonetheless, whoever it was that had the the brilliant idea to spread state testing out over a THREE WEEK PERIOD should be shot. I am seriously about three seconds from going ape guano crazy on someone.

I'm glad I don't moonlight with the postal service, cause if I did, things could get ugly.

And so it begins....

I have sacrificed my first chapstick to the gods of summer. I carelessly left it lying in the cupholder of my car, and now have a huge mess in there.

It's bitter sweet, really. Happy to have warmer weather. Angry to have lost my favorite chapstick to my own stupidity. Couldn't even have left it standing straight up. Stupid. Stupid.

It's official. Summer-Game On. HooRah!

I Love Real Dirty Things

I'm not sure which I love more, Dirty Jobs or Deadliest Catch. At this point, I think it's a toss up.

But one thing I do know...I love this commercial. That's for sure. I sometimes wish I could break into song. I have a crush on Mike Rowe, the bald guy with the big ol' gun is super hot, and sometimes I wish I had the capability to set people on fire. (I suspect I am missing the point of their ad campaign, but whatever.) I could watch the Discovery Channel all day, if stupid work didn't get in the way.

On that note, Happy Earth Day!

Slippery When Wet

I'm not one to mock, but really?

Who am I kidding? I am totally one to mock. The troubling thing is....I'm not sure if I mock because it's silly, or because I am jealous that I didn't think of it first.

After careful deliberation, I'm pretty sure I mock it because it's silly. Welcome to the Ivory Tower of Judgement. Glad you could make it.

My New Calling

I have decided that a career change is in order. After a $300 phone bill and about 62 emails, I now know exactly what I want to be when I grow up. A Customer Service Representative for AT&T. It may not sound glamorous, but it has a few great perks. A great creative outlet, as you can make stuff up at will. You get to charge people for whatever you like and you get to declare new doctrine, like a voice from on high.

"Texting and data, once charged in the same category, no longer will be. And so it was written, and so it shall be."

I would be drunk with power. It would be great.

Where's the Wisdom in this Word?

I don't really understand the coffee craze. I prefer my caffeine cold, with a slice of lemon. And you better believe that I don't understand this. Coffee beans that have been crapped out from some Asian raccoon, rinsed off, brewed and sold for roughly $150 bucks?! I object to that on a number of levels.

I believe that there is a saying about people who have more money than brains....pretty sure that applies to any, and all, of those bellying up to that coffee bar.

Fate of Some Chicks

Stupid fortune tellers. Whadutheyknow?

Chiropractor....Take 2

There are two chiropractors at the doctors office that I frequent. The one that I see and the one that I avoid at all costs.

This is the one that I like to see. Call it neurosis, call it self loathing, call it what you will. This doctor is comfortable for me. I really don't care that he gets all up in my business. Makes me roll around and cracks my back and neck, at will. I don't worry that his arms barely even touch when he makes me reach my arms around my own body, and then basically hugs me and rolls my back over some foam tube. I don't worry about that....cause he's old. And he's friends with my dad.


This is the doctor that I saw yesterday.....against my will and my better judgement. When I left, the pain was gone from my neck. It had entered chubby little my soul.

Netflix, I'm so sorry. Don't ever leave me again.

I'm all for self awareness. I pretty much watch too much tv. I can admit that. These days, it's basically what makes my life liveable. I love that if I miss an episode, I can get them in the mail....like a mini Christmas morning with every little red envelope.

Somedays, I wish that a certain few of my small screened friends, would step out of the box and sweep me off to the wonderful world where Booth and I could live happily ever after. I love this show. I love it a lot. I love it to tiny bits and pieces (and I love breakdancing and 80's laser graphics, but that's a whole other Oprah).

Someday, waaahhh-oooo-wooooah.

For other reasons I love this show. Kee-Racks me up.

It's quite possibly one of the funniest shows on TV right now.It must be humbling, indeed.

And yes-I do have a friend at work who has been known to spray down her students with Lysol when they sneeze. I love her all the more for it. That's just the kind of crazy, I can get behind.

In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Et tu Brute?

Teaching Shakespeare makes me cranky.
That is all.

Mumsy and Popscicle

This is me, my mama and pops from EuroTrip '04. I went with a few friends and my parents went as well. We got a great deal on flights because it was the 100th anniversary of the Wright brothers first flight.

Anyhow-each group went about doing the things that were of interest to them, and occasionally we met up and spent some time together. This was from the evening that we met up in London.

Something about this picture jumped out to me today. (Aside from the fact that I am standing at a VERY unflattering angle.) For one, yes, we are the cheesy tourists who do things like stuff ourselves into London phone booths. And while the scanning quality of this leaves much to be desired, my new favorite part of this picture is the couple gettin' busy against the booth!! I never noticed that before.

I love how aware of the camera the young woman is.....and how wildly unaware the man is.

I think there is some sort of generalization about men and women that I could make here, but I can't quite sum it up with any satisfaction. Feel free to take a stab at it yourself.

I Gotta Man

I revel in the cliche that I have become, 30ish, single, and obscenely attached to my dog. I wouldn't have it any other way.(Well, I might, but whatever.) However, my craziness is not the point of this post. My crazy dog is the point of this post. (guess that line is a little less clear than I would like to admit)


I have had him for almost two years and he seriously makes me more happy than just about anything else in the world. He is a schnauzer. An awesome little schnauzer. Everything he does, he does 100%.

He wags his entire body. You're leaving the room? Freddy darts ahead to check and see where you are going. Going up the stairs? Freddy will race up ahead of you to make sure everything is okay up there. Trying to sleep? Freddy will bound around your bed and pillow....just to make sure there are no intruders. No danger of that, sadly.

That cute little purple bear he is sitting with? That's the Cancer Bear. It was a fundraiser for the American Cancer Society. He gets that stupid thing in his mouth and thrashes it about like it personally killed his mother. Nobody is more committed to fighting cancer than Freddy.

Don't even get me started on the "YOU CAME HOME FROM WORK TODAY.......WOOOO HOOOOOO" greeting. It's wholehearted and awesome.

I've often wondered about getting a little sister to keep him company while I am at work. And her name would be Fiona!! Cute, huh?

He has had other dog buddies, so I didn't think it would be that big a deal. This week, I learned how very poorly that might really go. Turns out, I have raised an insanely jealous and pouty dog.

I met a friend at the park who brought with her all FOUR dogs. Two tiny ones and two GIGANTIC, very excited, hyper, jumping boxers. We decided to let the little ones run amok, because they weren't causing too much damage, and we would set up a man-to-man defence with Apollo and Sasha.

I was dealing with Sasha and inadvertedly ignoring Freddy. Once I noticed what I was doing, I tried to make up for it and split my attention, but it was too late. Freddy was having NONE of it. I would call him and he would stop, make eye contact with me, and then absolutely turn his head away, put his nose in the air and go anywhere but the direction I had called him. It was so sad. I'm not sure, but I think if he could have sprouted a thumb, he would have definately flipped me off. You would have thought I sold him down the river by the disappointment in his eyes.

Bottom line, I don't think that Freddy has a little sister in his immediate future. I can only deal with disappointing so many people at once....and right now, as the only remaining single child in my family, with zero prospects in sight, and therefore zero chance of offering any grandchildren....my corner for disappointment is full.

After all, there are worse things than a dog who's fat but happy......just like his owner! Even if he's a little bit spoiled.

Seester? He don't need no stinking seester!

You Got the Right One, Baby. Uhhhh Huh.

The significance of sustaining our leaders is not at all lost on me. I love having the opportunity, every six months, to check in and restate that I love and support the leadership of my church.

But I gotta say, I did get a little choked up when they read through the list of promonent members who have passed away since last conference. Still kind of tugged at my heart. Still a little bitter-sweet.

Mormon was the Book That They Gave Me

Not sure why, but I kind of wish this was true. Explains why I've always felt a connection to the D-O-double G.


http://cnnentertainment.co.nr/2008/SHOWBIZ/Music/04/01

DIAMOND BAR, California (AP) -- In what some may consider an unexpected move, rap artist "Snoop Dogg" has reportedly converted to Mormonism after nearly a year of study with the fast-growing, Utah-based faith.
In a statement, a spokeswoman for Snoop Dogg -- whose real name is Calvin Broadus -- said he considers himself extremely fortunate to have discovered such a deep sense of spiritual fulfillment at this stage in his life.
“Mr. Broadus is also very pleased to find that his family is as enthusiastic about attending church services as he is,” the spokeswoman said.
However, Snoop Dogg has not been enthusiastic about publicly sharing his experience and declined to be interviewed by CNN for this article. In fact, he reportedly informed producers of his E! reality show "Snoop Dogg's Father Hood" that this particular aspect of his family's life was off-limits to the cameras. Still, he left open the possibility of addressing the subject in future episodes.
According to the Associated Press, Snoop Dogg was first introduced to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, as the Mormon Church is officially known, after attending a Gladys Knight concert in an LDS meeting house in Los Angeles.
Knight, who very publicly discusses her conversion to Mormonism several years ago, invited Snoop Dogg to what is known to the Mormon faithful as “Family Home Evening,” a church program that encourages families to set aside Monday evenings for gospel-centered lessons and family togetherness.
Though Snoop Dogg has been hesitant to publicly discuss his recent spiritual journey, he commented on the experience of attending his first “Family Home Evening” in a recent interview with People Magazine.
“I was hooked from the start,” Snoop Dogg said. “We talked about the purpose of life, played Mousetrap, and ate brownies. The kids thought it was off the hook, for real.”
In what Snoop Dogg now thinks was anything but a coincidence, Mormon missionaries had knocked on his door just one week before the Knight concert. He said he had initially turned them away because of what he knew about the strict Mormon health code, which prohibits members from smoking, drinking alcohol, and using drugs.
“Y’all know me,” he said grinning broadly. “There were just certain things the old me -- the "natural man" -- needed to do. And these young guys are telling me that God’s not down with disrespecting ourselves. But it’s cool now.”
Snoop Dogg said his conversion marks the end of his old life, one that included frequent run-ins with the law. Snoop Dogg was convicted in 1990 of cocaine possession and charged with gun possession after a 1993 traffic stop. In 1997, he pleaded guilty in exchange for a lighter sentence.
In 1996, Snoop Dogg was acquitted of murder after a purported gangbanger was killed by gunfire from the vehicle in which Snoop Dogg was traveling.
Snoop Dogg dismisses critics who claim his conversion is intended to placate a Salt Lake County judge, before whom he is appealing an alleged probation violation.
“Listen, the haters will say what they will,” Snoop Dogg said. “I can only do what I feel is right.”

Arizona Here I Come

I moved to Arizona this week.

I had no idea.

It must just be the remains of the movie that they were shooting the past two weeks, but I really did slow down and think. "Crap, I thought this drive was getting long."

Either that or the states of the union have been radically realigned and no one told me. No one tells me anything!