Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Things you may know, and things you may not.

My dad turned 60 today. That makes me feel old just by extension.

I can't stand fruit flavored cakes. Also raisins in cookies are an abomination above all else. Don't try to healthy up my dessert. I'm fat and I'm happy. I don't need the underhanded judgement that has been baked in your fake cookie.

I have never bought a red velvet cake or cupcake that is better than my own.

The word moist makes me cringe, literally.

I would rather die from anemia than take iron pills.

I am an amazing judge of character, unless you are a man I want to date....then I am useless.

Sometimes I think I will die alone because Luke, from Gilmore Girls, is not a real man.

I hate it when people from nondenominational churches, or those who have no faith of their own to offer as an alternative, want to argue and tell me that I am a bigot and believe in the wrong God because I do have very specific beliefs that I make no apologies for. Because really- if you're going to tell me that I am wrong.....when even YOU don't know think you know what it right.....you're just wasting your breath and your opinion holds no weight with me. I just can't seem to find any respect for that.

Dating the 'gangster with a heart of gold' helped me to learn that I am pretty handy with a hand gun and assault rifle. I still have yet to find a situation in my life where these skills are necessary. *please sing that the tune of 'One of these things is not like the other one.'

I am a spectator, not an athlete, definitely not a coach.

The final walk thru in my house is tomorrow. I get the keys next week. This has me equal parts excited and petrified.

Every day I go to work with the fear that today is the day I am going to be recognized as a fraud.

I think my grandpa might have been loosely linked to the NY mafia....which I find totally awesome.

Out of all my accidents and spills (which usually result in broken bones....go big or go home, right?) the one that is the most embarrassing came from stepping out of a Chinese restaurant on a late night food binge. I stepped on an uneven piece of sidewalk, twisted my foot and snapped the bone behind my pinky toe. Even more embarrassing, I didn't go to the doctor. I waddled back home and ate my General Tsao's Chicken. Finally, I decided to go in the morning, after breakfast.

Mustard and bananas are respectively the most selfish of all condiments and fruits.

I had a roommate in college who would ONLY eat 4 sided french fries.

If I were Noah, I would have grabbed the unicorns and kicked out the frogs.

I became a teacher because noting else even occurred to me.

I am jealous that my dogs army bomber jacket is cooler than any other piece of clothing that I own.

When I was growing up, my parents worked at Dodger Stadium, so I spent most of my childhood summers there. Tommy Lasorda made fun of me for getting mustard from my Dodger dog onto my shirt. That may have been the best, most embarrassing moment of my life.

I voluntarily listen to more sports talk radio than any unmarried, straight woman I know.

Also- I am very tired and annoyed I can't upload any pics.....but I have't posted in a while...so I figure i should give some sort of update. If you are on FB, you know I've been super busy.....and you can even see the pics of what I've been up to.

If Karl G. Maeser drew a chalk line of honor around me....I might stick my toe out from time to time, I'm wild like that.

And now- I'm going to bed listening to the sounds of lightning and thunder. Perfect!

6 comments:

L and L and R said...

I wish I was as funny as you.
My dad is 71...try that on for size!
Since R.V.C. is my absolute favorite, I would love to try yours!
You will find that owning a home is not as scary as it initially seems.
Love the commnet about Mr. Maeser and the line....I'd be sticking my toe out there with you, too. Maybe this is why I've yet to make a good friend in my ward since I moved here three years ago. Everyone seems to the type to keep their toes far inside the circle. Hmph.
Good luck with moving!

Naomi said...

I enjoyed that immensely probably because I enjoy you immensely.

How's that for validation?

mintifresh said...

I wish I had a relative loosely involved with the Mafia! You get all the cool stuff!

I would've eaten first before going to the doc, too! Who knows when you'd get another chance with x-rays and stuff!

Good luck in your new house!

Tricia B. said...

I love you Jill. Every time I read your awesome posts and see how much we have in common, it makes me sad that we weren't better friends when we were younger. We were never in the same ward or school, so I guess it would've been hard. I LOVE General Tso's Chicken. It's not a good Chinese restaurant unless they have it on their menu!

J&J Priest said...

Hehehe, love it. I can apply a couple of those

Jennifer said...

moist, moist, moist, moist, moist!!