Job well done....

This is what one of my students handed in today for their vocab quiz. They had 30 minutes to work on it.

(Click the pic to see the quiz in all it's larger sized glory) 

It was over vocabulary from The Scarlet Letter, incase you couldn't tell.

Things you may know, and things you may not.

My dad turned 60 today. That makes me feel old just by extension.

I can't stand fruit flavored cakes. Also raisins in cookies are an abomination above all else. Don't try to healthy up my dessert. I'm fat and I'm happy. I don't need the underhanded judgement that has been baked in your fake cookie.

I have never bought a red velvet cake or cupcake that is better than my own.

The word moist makes me cringe, literally.

I would rather die from anemia than take iron pills.

I am an amazing judge of character, unless you are a man I want to date....then I am useless.

Sometimes I think I will die alone because Luke, from Gilmore Girls, is not a real man.

I hate it when people from nondenominational churches, or those who have no faith of their own to offer as an alternative, want to argue and tell me that I am a bigot and believe in the wrong God because I do have very specific beliefs that I make no apologies for. Because really- if you're going to tell me that I am wrong.....when even YOU don't know think you know what it right.....you're just wasting your breath and your opinion holds no weight with me. I just can't seem to find any respect for that.

Dating the 'gangster with a heart of gold' helped me to learn that I am pretty handy with a hand gun and assault rifle. I still have yet to find a situation in my life where these skills are necessary. *please sing that the tune of 'One of these things is not like the other one.'

I am a spectator, not an athlete, definitely not a coach.

The final walk thru in my house is tomorrow. I get the keys next week. This has me equal parts excited and petrified.

Every day I go to work with the fear that today is the day I am going to be recognized as a fraud.

I think my grandpa might have been loosely linked to the NY mafia....which I find totally awesome.

Out of all my accidents and spills (which usually result in broken bones....go big or go home, right?) the one that is the most embarrassing came from stepping out of a Chinese restaurant on a late night food binge. I stepped on an uneven piece of sidewalk, twisted my foot and snapped the bone behind my pinky toe. Even more embarrassing, I didn't go to the doctor. I waddled back home and ate my General Tsao's Chicken. Finally, I decided to go in the morning, after breakfast.

Mustard and bananas are respectively the most selfish of all condiments and fruits.

I had a roommate in college who would ONLY eat 4 sided french fries.

If I were Noah, I would have grabbed the unicorns and kicked out the frogs.

I became a teacher because noting else even occurred to me.

I am jealous that my dogs army bomber jacket is cooler than any other piece of clothing that I own.

When I was growing up, my parents worked at Dodger Stadium, so I spent most of my childhood summers there. Tommy Lasorda made fun of me for getting mustard from my Dodger dog onto my shirt. That may have been the best, most embarrassing moment of my life.

I voluntarily listen to more sports talk radio than any unmarried, straight woman I know.

Also- I am very tired and annoyed I can't upload any pics.....but I have't posted in a while...so I figure i should give some sort of update. If you are on FB, you know I've been super busy.....and you can even see the pics of what I've been up to.

If Karl G. Maeser drew a chalk line of honor around me....I might stick my toe out from time to time, I'm wild like that.

And now- I'm going to bed listening to the sounds of lightning and thunder. Perfect!

Keep Your Hands off my Bieber

I can't believe that he had nothing to say about Mr Schuster rapping to Bust a Move. I do love me some Glee, but this is freaking hilarious.

Northern Expansion

I have a bunch of new seniors in my homeroom class this year. The students that I have been with, for the past three + years, know that the flag salute battle is not one they are going to win. I am about as patriotic as they come. I look great in blue, Independence Day is without a doubt my favorite holiday, fireworks set to Neal Diamond songs make me tear up, I see no other reason for apples than pie, and when baseball season is over...a little piece of my heart goes into hibernation. Some of these new students haven't quite gotten the idea that I don't give a tiny rats ass if they don't want to do the flag salute. (They are just being lazy. If they actually had a valid reason or argument, it would be different....but lazy just plain annoys the crap out of me.) Thus, they get some variation of the, "I don't give a crap what you think about it. We are in America…show some respect/gratitude for the fact that you even have the option to piss away the free education and opportunities that are right here in front of you. Get your lazy can up out of your chair and be glad that I don't make you all freaking sing, The Star Spangled Banner." talk.

Anyhow- that struggle prompted a conversation which included phrases the likes of, "In my country…" "This used to be Mexico, anyway." and my personal favorite was this,

Expansionist 1- "Man, you know what country we should have taken by now?"

Expansionist 2- "huuuuuh?"

Expansionist 1-"Alaska, man. We should have taken that a long time ago."

Expansionist 2-"Are you serious right now?"

Expansionist 1- "Yeah man, it's just sitting there."

Expansionist 2- "Hmmmm. Maybe we can swing by and grab Hawaii right after we take Alaska."

Expansionist 1- "Whatever man….I meant, what's that place right above us? Canada? That's like right above us, no?"

Expansionist 2 and I- Laugh, mock and poke fun for the rest of the period.

Moral of the story: Look out Alaska, we're coming for you....and maybe tell Hawaii not to get too comfortable. They're next.

Finally Fall!

I realize that for most people, Autumn is a special time of year. The air turns crisp and cool, sweaters and scarves are brought back out from their summer hiding places, kids go back to school, and you can practically see Mother Nature get back to work with her magical paint brush as she changes the leaves from green, to red, yellow and gold.

However, for me, Fall holds no such appeal. You see, this is where I live...

The Great Mojave...try not to be jealous.

As I am sure you can imagine, there isn't a real big change from one season to the next. A joshua tree is a joshua tree, is a joshua tree. Winter, summer, spring or fall. Meh- It's all the same. We really have only three seasons. Hot, cold, and windy. The leaves don't change color here; they simply get blown off the tree while still green. Sure, I love a great boob sweater as much as the next girl. And with bulky clothes comes the relaxation of no longer having to suck it in all the time, as is the case during the hotter, more revealing, cruel months of summer. But other than that, fall just means back to work, (where I now get to deal with the children that you parents are so happy to finally be rid of for the better part of the day) and having to find socks that match.



However, there are two reasons why I still hold on to the notion that fall is the best of all seasons. College football (which we will address at a future point in time), and the return of first-run TV. Yes, people....it's the little things. I am not ashamed (well, not very ashamed) that this week has been awesome simply because I have been able to curl up on the couch, or in bed, with a blanket and welcome back some old friends...

Seriously, could Modern Family be any funnier?  You are officially my new The Office.

and even meet some new ones (who I certainly will not be kicking out of bed anytime soon). I'm actually working on a plan that includes moving to Hawaii just to stir up some mischief on the off chance that this will be my arresting officer.

Brava, Mother Nature and your magical paint brush. Brava!

My Place of Eternal Dibs

I can't explain how badly I wish I was here. 

Sorry Sexy Strippers

First I was hustled into this.....

because I am not that smart.

The other day, I couldn't sleep.  As a result, I foolishly bought this...

and I have yet to try them.

This infomercial is on right now, but sorry ladies, I don't think I'll  be purchasing this one.



Fat white girl, hip-hop is where I draw the line. I can shake it like a white girl, but not stripper style......not for now anyway.