Men for Whom I Would Gladly Trade My Morals

I wish that my life was so full of excitement and actual personal relationships that this wasn't such a big deal for me. But my social calendar being what it is, the return of SAMCRO is pretty much the highlight of my life right now.....and for the foreseeable future.

Oh Jax....I have missed you.

Finally Fall!

I realize that for most people, Autumn is a special time of year. The air turns crisp and cool, sweaters and scarves are brought back out from their summer hiding places, kids go back to school, and you can practically see Mother Nature get back to work with her magical paint brush as she changes the leaves from green, to red, yellow and gold.

However, for me, Fall holds no such appeal. You see, this is where I live...

The Great Mojave...try not to be jealous.

As I am sure you can imagine, there isn't a real big change from one season to the next. A joshua tree is a joshua tree, is a joshua tree. Winter, summer, spring or fall. Meh- It's all the same. We really have only three seasons. Hot, cold, and windy. The leaves don't change color here; they simply get blown off the tree while still green. Sure, I love a great boob sweater as much as the next girl. And with bulky clothes comes the relaxation of no longer having to suck it in all the time, as is the case during the hotter, more revealing, cruel months of summer. But other than that, fall just means back to work, (where I now get to deal with the children that you parents are so happy to finally be rid of for the better part of the day) and having to find socks that match.



However, there are two reasons why I still hold on to the notion that fall is the best of all seasons. College football (which we will address at a future point in time), and the return of first-run TV. Yes, people....it's the little things. I am not ashamed (well, not very ashamed) that this week has been awesome simply because I have been able to curl up on the couch, or in bed, with a blanket and welcome back some old friends...

Seriously, could Modern Family be any funnier?  You are officially my new The Office.

and even meet some new ones (who I certainly will not be kicking out of bed anytime soon). I'm actually working on a plan that includes moving to Hawaii just to stir up some mischief on the off chance that this will be my arresting officer.

Brava, Mother Nature and your magical paint brush. Brava!

Dear Jon

My friend Kelly just sent me this...and I think I can now die a happy woman. There really are no words or explanation necessary. Just, thank you. Thank you Kelly. Thank you Jon. Thank you Dear Sweet Jeeebus for such a wonderful looking man. Thank you.......and good night.

I don't think I'm asking for too much, just someone similar to him would be fine. 

The L's stand for Love

My love for all things LL is long running and well documented. He is, in fact, the reason I totaled my first car. But I can honestly say, while I am alone in my room and staring at the wall, in the back of my mind I hear my conscience calling....and it's saying that I have never loved LL more than I do right now. At this very moment. I do need love.

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Blaaaaawwww- How ya like me now?

*You may need to wait a quick second for the video to load or buffer or some such computery geek thing, but put the time in. You won't be sorry.

NCI Love you

I don't know if I have exposed this dirty little secret to this here blogosphere, but I watch too much TV. As an English teacher I feel compelled to fudge a little about how much I watch and how little I read. The former I round down, the latter I round up. But I can live a lie no more.

I don't read as much as I should...and I watch much more TV than I ought.

Come to think of it, I've never gotten an official verdict. Do books on tape count as legit reading? Suppose we should throw that quandary out to all the gods ever taught about in theology class. You know, cover all the bases.

Anyhow-What has prompted me to expose my shameful secret? Jeff from Big Brother, Dexter, and NCIS. I can hide my love under a bushel no more.

I do try to work at keeping the line drawn clearly between fact and fiction. But Jeff.....oh my heavens, he's a real live man....and I think he could love me. Heaven knows I already love him.

That's right about where the line between reality and fiction starts to get a little fuzzy.

One of my girlfriends, who has gotten herself stuck in a state of Missouri, informed me that there was an awesome show that I have completely missed out on. Apparently there was some misunderstanding on my end. She was talking about Chuck.


I, on the other hand, thought she was talking about Dexter. A bit dark and twisty, but equal parts gruesome AND awesome. Plus, dude is smoking, fire, hot. I might be able to look past the whole, kill the bad to protect the good, serial killer thing. A man with principles, I can live with that. I could love that. In fact, I do.


Ahhh well, if Jeff insists on not loving me back and I can't live a happy life raising Dexter Jr, then I would like to heretofore be known as Mrs Anthony Dinozzo. This video is probably one of my favorites because 1) Tony is smoking hot and kicks serious butt. 2) He gets a divorce from his pretend wive Ziva,so he's fair game! I'm no home wrecker. And yes, he is a bit of a man whore, that's fine. People can change, right? Right? Mrs Dinozzo. Oh heaven help my heart. I want to lick him. I am certain that you will love him as I do. Unless there is something wrong with you...but either way, back up off my man

And sweet mother of all that is good, now we have an NCIS Los Angeles? I may join the navy just so that I can get into some sort of horrific trouble L.L. Cool J could come and save me from. My love for him goes way back to Fendi bags and a bad attitudes. That really did put me in a good mood. I've always had at least one of those two.

Now the men of NCIS are on my half of the country, commonly rolling thru Dodgertown? That's super awesome. If joining the ranks of the navy and falling into distress isn't enough to get his attention, I'd be willing go out of my way to start some schenanigans that would ensure LL must fulfill his obligation to the law and be my arresting officer. Yes, I do submit to a body search.....and those cuffs...fine by me.


Oh dear...I might need a minute.

We'll talk about it later.

I guess it's funny to be a stoned 8 year old on the way home from the dentist...but this? This just makes me uncomfortable to watch.
But I love that Dave it all over Joaquin. He does not miss a beat. And did you notice, Letterman agrees with me and the gum chewing. It's annoying.

Where are Joaquin's friends? How have they not had a sit down with him? He's just making me sad, now. I'm hoping it is a Kaufman-esque hoax. Please...I'd be sad to really see Joaquin go this way.

I Have Been Bewitched, Body and Soul

I realize that this says a lot about me, but OH MY GOSH. Two of my favorite things. Jess and Mr Darcy, that is.

I Love Real Dirty Things

I'm not sure which I love more, Dirty Jobs or Deadliest Catch. At this point, I think it's a toss up.

But one thing I do know...I love this commercial. That's for sure. I sometimes wish I could break into song. I have a crush on Mike Rowe, the bald guy with the big ol' gun is super hot, and sometimes I wish I had the capability to set people on fire. (I suspect I am missing the point of their ad campaign, but whatever.) I could watch the Discovery Channel all day, if stupid work didn't get in the way.

On that note, Happy Earth Day!

Chiropractor....Take 2

There are two chiropractors at the doctors office that I frequent. The one that I see and the one that I avoid at all costs.

This is the one that I like to see. Call it neurosis, call it self loathing, call it what you will. This doctor is comfortable for me. I really don't care that he gets all up in my business. Makes me roll around and cracks my back and neck, at will. I don't worry that his arms barely even touch when he makes me reach my arms around my own body, and then basically hugs me and rolls my back over some foam tube. I don't worry about that....cause he's old. And he's friends with my dad.


This is the doctor that I saw yesterday.....against my will and my better judgement. When I left, the pain was gone from my neck. It had entered chubby little my soul.

Netflix, I'm so sorry. Don't ever leave me again.

I'm all for self awareness. I pretty much watch too much tv. I can admit that. These days, it's basically what makes my life liveable. I love that if I miss an episode, I can get them in the mail....like a mini Christmas morning with every little red envelope.

Somedays, I wish that a certain few of my small screened friends, would step out of the box and sweep me off to the wonderful world where Booth and I could live happily ever after. I love this show. I love it a lot. I love it to tiny bits and pieces (and I love breakdancing and 80's laser graphics, but that's a whole other Oprah).

Someday, waaahhh-oooo-wooooah.

For other reasons I love this show. Kee-Racks me up.

It's quite possibly one of the funniest shows on TV right now.It must be humbling, indeed.

And yes-I do have a friend at work who has been known to spray down her students with Lysol when they sneeze. I love her all the more for it. That's just the kind of crazy, I can get behind.

In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

A Sad Realization

It didn't really bother me that the clock in my bedroom was an hour wrong. Turns out...it REALLY bothers me when the clock in my car is off. This year seems to be the first, in recent history, that I have not had a 'man-type thing' readily available to fix said problem.

Judge me if you will, but I can't figure it out. I will not admit defeat and resort to checking with the owners manual.

By my count, the score is now:
Me-1
The Man-1

Guess I better get busy makin' some friends. In the mean time, I suppose I should put some feelers out there. Let them make the first move. You know, help make them feel useful....I hear guys like that.

Gentlemen, I'd love your help.



Seriously.


I'm a helpless girl.


I'm not proud.