My Holiday Anti-Wish List

In case your holiday shopping is not done yet, let me just take a second or two and narrow down the field of possibilities for you. This....I do not want.

I prefer my gifts to be delivered by Santa exclusively.

I'm guessing, but I bet Jewish women can think of many other ways to light their menorahs.

I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY ARE RUNNING THESE PSA'S SERIOUSLY! Who thought up this new slice of hellish gift giving? I totally thought it was a joke or the preview of a SNL skit when I first saw it, but no. Real.

I want gifts. I like things that are shiny and sparkle. But if it comes down to it, I'd rather have livestock, or a grove of miracle trees in some foreign land where they would be needed, than a Pap smear. Anything but the silver duck. *you may or may no want to click that link, depending upon your gender.

I'd much rather have you give me a couple of goats that would serve to give milk and offspring, for generations to come, in rural villages. Or even maybe a freaking camel! I've always wanted a camel. If you're feeling feisty, I might even be down with a couple of donkey's. Donkeys and camels, totally cool...... pap-smears, not so much.

What is CBS trying to do with these PSA's? Make the holidays as awkward as humanly possible? In this case, you can't even say, "It's the thought that counts," cause QUIT THINKING ABOUT MY COOTER! Sick.

Pride of the Family

On his left cheek bone is inked the Pittsburgh Pirate’s ‘P’, “for the Pittsburgh, that’s my favorite team. Barry Bonds, when he first started.” The thing about the P is, however, that it’s backwards and looks more like a 9. DeShawn tried to explain, “No, if you’re standing where Dom’s standing and looking at me, it looks like a P.” Dominic McGuire was standing directly in front of him about 10 yards away, but it still looked like a 9. I think DeShawn meant to say, “when I look in the mirror it looks like a P.” The final new tat is a crack on the left side of Stevenson’s forehead. He said it’s because “I don’t crack. I feel like people always try to break me, but I don’t crack. So, I put that there. --Washington Times--

A prime example of what happens when a person has more money than brains.

True Confession Tuesday

I wish I was in The -Vo for this.

And this would be nice too.


Instead, I live here.

Okay-fine.

This may not be an actual picture of my lovely hometown a-la helicopter, but the wind (and resulting sand storm) did "blow the satellite off the roof" of the gas station this morning. Thus, I could not use my ATM card. My empathy for hobos, bums, college co-ed's and general ne'erdowells has increased tenfold since my morning rummage for spare change. Seriously, who carries cash anymore?

Point being, all of you losers who mocked the 8 year old me for wanting a camel?

You suck.

I totally should have stuck with Operation Cam-o.