Men for Whom I Would Gladly Trade My Morals

I wish that my life was so full of excitement and actual personal relationships that this wasn't such a big deal for me. But my social calendar being what it is, the return of SAMCRO is pretty much the highlight of my life right now.....and for the foreseeable future.

Oh Jax....I have missed you.

Saturday: The Day of Weird.

I had exactly two conversations this Saturday with people that I am not related to. They went a little something like this.....

Number one was at Del Taco.  

Me: Hi, can I just get a large Diet Coke, please. 

Del Taco chick: Sure, you're total is $2.07. 

-I hand her a $20 dollar bill 

Del Taco chick: Do you need your change? 

-I make a confused face....trying to make sense of what she just asked me. I assume that she meant, "I'll get your change," or something along those lines.  But she just stared at me waiting for a response. 

Del Taco chick: So, do you need your change? 

Me: Ummmmm yeah-I'm gunna need my change. 

Number two was at the dog park.

I had a BYU t-shirt on and was pretty much just sitting on the park bench minding my own business. A man who was EASILY the same age as my dad sat down next to me and started making small talk. He was nice enough...and heaven knows I'm a conversational wizard when it comes to thoughtless yapping. We covered college rivalries, the US getting dealt with at the World Cup, and grounding your club in the bunker. Idle chit chat, not particularly flirty, just friendly, dog park chit-chat...or so I thought. So, dude gets up to leave and we exchange pleasantries. "Nice to meet you. Have a good weekend. Yadda-yadda-yadda" Then he shook my hand, took three steps toward the gate, turned around and gave me the Shooter McGavin finger gun and said,

"By the way, I'm single."

I realize that more often than not, I exaggerate stories for the sake of effect, but this is not one of those times. It does, however, raise a few questions in my mind.


A) Do people honestly use the finger gun in normal conversations and I've just missed it? I mean, I'm all for the ironic/exaggerated use of the Shooter occasionally. But really? Seriously? Huh.

B) Do I honestly look old enough to be in that dating range? If so....someone get me a good plastic surgeons number, STAT.

C) Was I supposed to run after him, spilling over with glee and shouting, "Ohhh Ohhhhh Ohhhhh me too! Let's do this!" (and by 'this,' I mean 'it') I totally dropped the ball if that was supposed to be my response. Instead, I half-heartedly returned the Shooter and stammered out a confused, "Ahhhh okay. Got it"

It wasn't even noon yet, but that was about when I decided I had met my quota for social interaction for the day. I'm done with weird.

I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing

I really would. I'd like to teach the world to sing, in perfect harmony.

Every morning I wake up praying that something like this might take shape around me. And I carry that prayer in my heart throughout the day. Hasn't happened yet- but hope is a thing with feathers, that perches in the soul, right?

If not Barney, Then I'd settle for a group of hulking, strong solders dancing a little Gaga to pass the time in Afghanistan, Quite frankly I think most international disputes/wars should be settled with a dance off. It worked in Westside Story and Beat it. What more proof do you need? Osama vs Michelle and Obama? Like him or not, I think we've got that one locked up.

And just in case they are not ready to shake the money makers, I've been workin on some dance moves that will be sure to win friends and influence foreign dignitaries.

Life Perfected

Regardless of all my complaining as of late, my life would be complete if I had this.

Asus Waveface Ultra Smartphone Bracelet
Asus demoed a collection of futuristic gadgetry at CES, including the Waveface Ultra smartphone, a flexible bracelet that wraps around your wrist.

It makes calls (naturally), accesses the Web, and even flattens into a tablet. (Take that, Apple.) Of course, this Dick Tracy-esque gizmo is strictly conceptual, and there's no word on whether it'll someday find its way to market.

Would a smartphone bracelet look good on you?(courtesy of msnbc.com)

All I have to say about that? Heck yes a smartphone bracelet would look good on me, as long as they make it in colors that would match my Wonderwoman suit.