What about Blurry Pictures?

Do they still speak a thousand words, or is it more of a mumble?  Whatever the case, my phone is heading to the crapper, mainly due to the craptastic pictures it now takes. I long for the good old days when the camera on my phone rivaled any actual legit camera, but alas those days are gone.

So here you have it....being that I have no real camera at my disposal currently, it is with no further adieu, that I cram my mouth full of figurative rocks and mumble my way through some low quality pics of my house.

 Obviously that is the living room. I am going to plead the fifth on what tv show is on as the time of this photo. It may have been NCIS or Dexter, probably Reading Rainbow or more likely Music and the Spoken Word.

This is the wall that divides the entryway from the hallway to the extra bedrooms. I seem to have found myself collecting masks from countries and places that I have been to. So when I saw this wire globe thing, I thought it would tie all the masks together and either be super cool, super tacky, or just tacky enough to be super cool. I eventually landed on the last option, but the fact that it was marked half off, then 30% of that price and upon checkout, they gave me another 10$ off lead me to believe that I am the only person to think that it is super awesome. I don't care. What does this town full of troglodites know about the world and super awesome decorations gathered on actual trips trotting 'round the planet.

 Uhhhhh the entry way? Yeah- all those jackets are mine. And yes- they all could stand to be ironed.  What? Don't judge me.

 These are pretty much just my couches and the back wall toward the kitchen. You see that fierce beast sitting on the couch. Don't even think about breaking into my Fort Knox. Freddy's a killer. He will bite you in the arse without even thinking twice. Just ask the contractor who thought he could just walk in and fix something....since he'd already been in the house once that day. Nope. Bit square in the ass. I laughed a little. Contractor didn't appreciate that much. But he's the one who pat me on my head and told me to "make sure and bring your daddy on the next walk through."  Freddy doesn't appreciate being condescended to....and like a true King, he holds grudges. This score has been settled. We are now even.

 So that's the kitchen. I need a microwave and toaster that match and can be mounted somewhere off the counter top. Baby steps. One of these days. Oh yeah- one more item to tack on the list, dining room table. Whatev.

 More kitchen. I didn't think I would, but I kind of like the Roman Shades. And just for the record Jennifer, those are BOTH of your gifts out and displayed in full force in my house, thankyouverymuch. Above the slider is the sign you made that says, "I smile because you are my sister. I laugh because there is nothing you can do about it." In the picture above this one you can see the "Live Laugh Love" blocks currently covering up the ugly wireless router that got installed right smack dab in the middle of the kitchen counter.

So there you have it......another pic of the ferocious beast. Enter at your own will. Especially if you are wearing yoga pants, or pants with elastic waist bands. He's been known to pull those clean off. Cut him some slack. Most of the time he is just trying to get your attention. He just needs some lovin'. He is very neglected, you know.

 OHHHH I nearly forgot two of the best parts. My super awesome gold Christmas tree. (It's fake, but I brought in and have hidden pine cones all throughout the house.....so it smells like Christmas, even if it is a tree that, along with cockroaches, will last through an atomic fall out.  And....

The super awesome winter vinyl  trees in my bedroom. They look way more cool in person.But my social life being what it is, you're going to just have to take my word on that.

Take it for what it is. You asked for pics of mi casa, the best I can do for now is mumble this feeble response.

All I want for Christmas is.......you

...you awesome piece of utilitarian furniture. I hear angels singing the praise of such an inspiring and totally cool piece of furniture. I don't just want you. I need you. I just can't quit you and your multipurpose manufacturing.

If you love me, you will buy it for me. If you love me a LOT, you will buy me my own house to put it in. You decide.

Around the Way Girl

Dear Palmdale,

It's a roundabout, not rocket science. Let's all take a minute, stop painting our cars glittery green, and do some good old fashioned learning. Oh- and you in the leased Escalade rollin' on dubs...I'm talking to you too. I have faith that you can get it.

Notice, there are no stop signs, only yield signs. That's the entire point of a roundabout...keep people moving. Roundabout, not stop about, and certainly not stop at each street. Check to your left and if no one is coming, get in there. This might mean you need to re-adjust the gun rack in the back window of your truck, but that's okay. Safety first. And contrary to popular belief, Palmdale is not some third world country where whoever honks first gets the right of way. This is America. Land of the Free. Home of the Brave. We have rules and laws. Your mother wasn't lying, they are for your own good.

Then, when you get to your desired destination, simply break away to the right and move it along. Not hard. I know you can do it.

Here is a picture tutorial for those who are literacy challenged. Follow the red (or blue) arrow. I know that most things in this town are built on the grid system, so this newfandangled curvy business is new to most of us, but don't fight progress.


Come on, P-dale...you are my people. I believe in you. Let's show the world that we are not as backwards as they think we are. We can handle a roundabout. Oh-Yes, we can!

That is all.

Happy Trails,
Jill

Sad day

Turns out my next door neighbor died yesterday afternoon. The week before they moved in, they found out that he had cancer. It has progressed pretty quickly, so the wife has had to pretty much take care of everything. The worst part is that they have really young kids. I think that they are 8 and 5. Poor kids. And what crappy timing. I wonder how their Thanksgiving is going to go.

Now I kind of feel bad that I let my dog chase their kids the other day. That's why I never said anything to the mom about it in the first place. How was that conversation going to go? "Hi, I know your husband is inside dying of a horrible disease, but your kid is poking my dog with a stick. Can you tell her to stop?" Just seemed a little insensitive. Anyhow- that's that. Bummer.

Children don't walk past my house.....they RUN!

In true Freddy form, my 23 lb, ferocious beast bolted out the door today before I could get a sufficient monkey grip on his leash. And as is just my luck, a group of neighborhood kids were in the street playing.

My dog is pretty much harmless, but everything he does, he does 100%. He doesn't walk. There is no option for meander, wander or stroll; everything is done in overdrive. (I'm not a completely irresponsible dog owner. We're working on his manners, settle down!) Freddy spotted the kids and made an absolute B-line for them. He wasn't being mean, just wanted to check out what was going on.......at about 40 mph. Needless to say, every single kid began screaming bloody murder and scattered to the wind. All the while, Freddy just stood there looking around trying to figure out where they were going.

A random passerby may say that they were running because they were scared of the wonderbeast that is my dog. I say it's more likely that the screams were a result of their collective guilty conscious needing an escape. Every time I go out and clean up the yard, there are more and more random rocks lying all around. In it's normal state, there is nary a single rock in my backyard landscape. However, my neighbors yard is decorated extensively with rocks. And on more than one occasion, I have come out and caught the little buggers red handed poking my dog with sticks. They knew he was lose and were worried that he had come to settle the score.

A better person would have reprimanded the dog.....not I. Since he lacks the opposable thumbs requisite for throwing the rocks back, this was his little act of revenge. I secretly reveled in the chaos and mayhem that Freddy exacted this afternoon.It may not have even been that secretly, because their mother saw me giggling all the way to the car. I loved that she yelled to her kids, "That's what you get! I told you to stop teasing that dog!"

I think if Freddy could talk, he would say that revenge is sweet.....very sweet.