Be Like Barack

A record of an actual conversation that I had with a student today while I was holding my door open, just a few seconds before the tardy bell was to ring.

I looked over to see a student dancing around in the quad, singing some unrecognizable song-ish type chant and basically flailing about aimlessly. I said, "Hey (Insert student name here. I don't want to use his real name and you wouldn't believe me anyway.) Why don't you go to class and learn something?"

From the top of his lungs he shouts, "I don't have to learn anything. I can be president now!"

"Awesome. Good luck with that."

Democracy is Dead

I am apparently a part of the greatest travesty of modern justice. For some reason, my students are under the impression that democracy extends itself into the hallowed halls of my classroom. I am not sure how, or why, this delusion has caught on. Nevertheless, I felt the need to squelch this line of thinking today.

In one class my students are taking a quiz. In another, they are addressing a writing prompt. No less than 4 times today have I heard some variation of, "How about we do______ instead," or, "Can't we_______?"

I think what kills me is the utter look of shock on their faces when I inform them that I didn't get bossed around by teenagers when I was a teenager, and they can go right ahead now and realize that I am not going to start now that I am 30.

"That sucks. Not fair."

"You're right, my dear. Not fair at all. Deal widdit."

Amazing. Did they think that was going to work?

Ahoy Pirates!

Things I LOVE-

Free Internet!! I don't know which of my neighbors finally got wireless internet, but THANK YOU!! It's about dang time.

Refund check for an overpayment on a long forgotten credit card.

My official Vote by Mail ballot. (I don't really love this one...not this year)

Itchy and Scratchy

I have an unreasonable fear of lice. It is one of the main reasons I chose not to teach elementary school. It's also the reason that I can never completely relax and lean back in movie theatres.

Needless to say, while I was getting a pedicure today and looked over to witness two workers picking through one another's hair with tweezers, and occasionally finding little treats, I nearly crapped my pants.

On the inside I was screaming, "WHAT THE HELL? LICE? GIVE ME BACK MY FEET AND GET ME THE HELL OUT OF HERE!" On the outside I just quietly leaned forward, pulled my hair into a ponytail and ached for the end of the longest pedicure in history.

Now that I am home and showered, I am pretty sure that my scalp is nearly bloody from the scrubbing, and I can't shake the image of a permanently lice infested existence. Maybe I am crazy, but the thing that disturbs me the most is the fact that they were just sitting there, in the waiting area, picking and digging at one another. Right there in the open! They were always so clean and orderly but not today. ..I realize that I may have an overactive sense of shame for such things, but what happened to the days of doing things like this in the back room!

Every Party has a Pooper

What a bunch of babies.

Final Curtain for CA's Singing Highway

(NECN/ABC) - A highway in Lancaster, California is about to get a tune-up.

The road is designed to play music when cars drive over special grooves in the concrete. There are similar highways in Holland, Japan and Korea.

The Honda Corporation installed the grooves in the road, which are spaced to make the sound of musical notes as cars drive over them, for a commercial spot. But local residents are not liking the tune.

The highway plays the tune of the introduction of the William Tell Overture. It's not the song choice which has them up in arms -- it's the non-stop sound both night and day.

ABC's Leo Stallworth reports that Honda will return the road to its original, musically-challenged state.

Leave it to whiners to kill anything and everything even remotely interesting in this valley. My brother just moved to that very neighborhood and it is NOT that bad.

Go Toward the Light

Living in the middle of the desert is not always a treat, but then again...having long stretches of open road does allow for fun stuff!!!

Exibit A-



The only two other singing highways are in Japan and Korea. Japan, Korea and Lancaster. We're going global.

Let us oft Speak Kind Words to Each Other

"...At home or where e'er we may be."

I'm bettin' my students don't sing that to themselves nearly as often as I do.

It's not even 8:30 am yet, and already I have been told to F-off by a dear, sweet, well raised, little darling today.

As it turns out one kid dared to not notice that my little sweetie was walking in behind him this morning and failed to hold the door open for her. This started an onslaught of, "You an @sshole," type remarks....which in my humble opinion...show a little more about her character than the other kids, but whatever. I'm the Man and apparently always, 'gettin all up in her business' (The other day I made her stop braiding extentions into her friends hair in the middle of class. That's a whole other Oprah in and of itself.)

I tried to reason with her, because reasoing with teenagers is a totally useful thing to do. I pointed out that regardless of his lack of manners, she can't scream and swear like a sailor. Guess I was wrong, cause she didn't stop.

Basically, my little darling, was bugging the ever living crap out of me, so I sent her out. On the way out, she threw up her hands and shouted, "Well then F- you too!"

Ahhhh gunna be a good day.